Failure is something that each of us have to deal with at least once in our lives. Some failures may have little impact on our lives such as not winning at fantasy football. However, some failures are more significant than others such as not getting a job we applied for. The magnitude of the failure is dependent upon the person experiencing it. This sometimes explains why some people give you advice on how to handle it that doesn’t necessarily work for you. Many of us have felt like a certain failure isn’t as big of a deal as someone we know has made it into. Regardless of how others feel about the failure we experience, no one can tell us just how we should “feel” about it.
I have always realized that failure is something that isn’t apart of who I am, but something I am experiencing. After each failure, I have always felt stronger, and I have never denied the fact that I have learned a lot from the experience. However, knowing this has never made the ordeal less painful. What I had to do is stop trying to ignore the pain and stopped trying to busy myself so much that I didn’t think about it. I want to share with you a recent failure I have experienced in my life and I hope it helps at least one of you in anything you may be going through now or in the future.
I was shopping in the middle of Target when I decided to check an email revealing that I had not passed an exam that was very important in the progression of my career. I was completely derailed to the point that I couldn’t drive when I finally made it to my car. Holding back my tears, the first thing I did was to allow the reality of the news to sink in. Although every fiber in my body wanted to go home and roll up in my bed and be alone, I decided to call my mom. I made sure I selected someone who was capable of empathizing with me and who would allow me to express how I really felt. I then went home and thought about the results for hours. It was as if I couldn’t get the word “failed” out of my head. When I realized I was feeling depressed, I decided to give myself a day to allow myself to “feel” the sting. I went over the details of how I prepared for my exam and all of the things I could have done or should not have done. I then went through the same details and each time I started to think about it, I corrected the action in my mind. I started to realize that I did the best with what I was working with at the time I took the exam. This allowed me to start focusing on what I was going to do different the next time and what I needed to improve. Whenever the emotions weighed on me, I talked to someone who was part of my support system; my advisor, my supervisor, my significant other, my counselor. I didn’t bottle it up and I didn’t feel ashamed. It no longer was a thought that I had to ignore or chase after, but it became a thought that motivated me to work on how to overcome the failure. I reached out to people I knew could provide me with the knowledge I needed and the resources I needed to pass. I considered my limitations and my strengths and I opened my mind to being my biggest critic and my biggest fan. Most importantly, I relied on my “faith”.
Our faith may be something spiritual, something physical, or something emotional, but whatever it may be in, it is important to be able to rely upon it in our times of trial and triumph. This allows us to weather the storm, and it motivate us to aim for what is our “success” whether this is the same thing we failed or something new.
Those are my thoughts and experience. As always, stay beautiful.
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