Love Sucks

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LOVE SUCKS. No, it really sucks. As I stood in a busy street corner this past Valentine’s Day observing love birds holding hands, and chatting about love, I rarely saw two men holding hands. However, when I turn on Jack’d I am constant demand due to my pretty eyes, my pink lips, and my perfect dick print angle in my grey jogging pants. Yet, the only thing I desire is love. Pure Love, Deep Love. But, remember I think LOVE SUCKS.

Let me begin by first saying I am not jaded by love. I think love is a beautiful and supernatural feeling. My intense desire to see people happy and love spearheaded me starting my own matchmaking business in the summer of 2007. Within weeks of starting REAL LOVE, New York City ultimate offline dating service, I had a diverse pool of eligible bachelors seeking love in the five boroughs of New York. Although I was quite successful in obtaining love matches for these men, many nights I would walk home alone, and defeated that no one I could find would match up with me. Soon, I would only be interested in guys who could be matched with others. Also, the elephant in the room was ever present. As a healthy HIV positive man diagnosed in 2005, the continual rejection played heavy on my mind as I wondered why men couldn’t look past this virus that impacted my body.  In addition, I don’t have that Adonis Tumblr body that everyone idolizes. Furthermore, I have had an embarrassment of riches in finding available suitors, but we are not a match. Now, before you say, it is me, I beg to differ. I have learned to adapt to text only men, heavy set men, and men of opposite statuses to achieve success, but I am still single. I just want one guy I can call my own that enjoys long conversations, or can travel. I also don’t need to pick up my potential lover, of if I do, can it not be from his mother or ex-lover house where he currently resides.  My search for love shouldn’t be that complex. I understand it won’t be on Jack’d but why not? I understand that most men can’t handle a positive HIV status, but why not? I respect that masculinity is desired, but why? But, love SUCKS. That is why.



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